Rejection Is Not About You

This month I’m participating in the A to Z Challenge, blogging every day of the month of April, except Sundays, on a topic from A to Z. I’m posting short-form topics meant to get you talking and sharing! Join the discussion in the comments.

You might not want to believe me. I know people say this type of thing a lot, that rejection is not about you. It can be tempting to tune it out.

If you’ve been rejected again and again, you might not believe it. You might say, it must be me; there have been so many.

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If you’re just starting out and you don’t know what you’re doing, it can be tempting to say, it must be me; I’m an amateur.

Someone posted part of a rejection letter she’d received in a Facebook group for writers that I’m part of. The writer herself was frustrated, but when I read it, I thought, how nice! What a great letter. The editor had said what she’d written wasn’t right for them at the time and asked her to pitch again.

I’ve been that editor, and the truth is, it often is about timing.

We’ve just published a similar thing.

Our editorial calendar is full up for now.

It isn’t right for us at this time of year.

I’ve been dealing with rejection on an almost daily basis since January as I hunt for the right job. I’ll get excited about something, only to have my hopes dashed when it doesn’t work out. But then the next thing that comes along? It’s even more exciting. What’s on the docket now is perfect. I’m still waiting to see if it works out, and it may be a while in the making.

Until then, I have to remember that it’s about fit, and timing, and lots of other things. It’s less about my abilities and more about my personality and where I would fit well. Who I would want to work with who would also want to work with me. I don’t make a good corporate robot. But if you want someone to experiment and come up with creative solutions, well, I’m better at that, if you respect me to do it.

My favorite motivator, Matthew Hussey, has a video called One Mindset to Conquer Rejection that I also found helpful. Though it starts with a question about a romantic relationship, I think his answer can be applied to other areas of life, too.

And it’s interesting, because the thing that’s fallen into place this week has been so much easier and more fun than anything else, and it allows me to say, yes, THIS is the type of place I want to work for. Where I don’t have to jump through hoops. Where I don’t feel awkward or like I don’t understand the questions. Where I can be my real self and be appreciated because of it. It’s easy and fun and we’re right for each other; it’s not me trying to shove myself into a box I don’t fit in. THAT’S what I was looking for all along.

How do you deal with rejection? Do you vent? Do you have tried and true methods for bouncing back? What are they? Share away!

 

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